CAUTION: This film is a headache inducer. View at your own risk.

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“Ambulance” is the thrill ride at your go-to amusement park that you frequented every summer as a kiddo, right.

The park that has that one ride that’s been there for, like, 50 years that just keeps passing inspection, right.

You know, the one that you and your parents, and possibly your grandparents, know causes massive headaches…

…the one that probably loses screws and bolts after every cycle, but folks still ride it.

 The jittery one.

The one you ride every time you’re in the park but it’s ol’ reliable and the wait time isn’t long. So, you think, “…eh, eff it. why not?”

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Well, if you’re familiar with Michael Bay’s specific brand of action films, then “Ambulance” is nestled right there—bottom of the pack, ol’ reliable—hits the notes it’s meant to. Nothing more.

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Hitting the elements:

 Direction: chaotic

 Cinematography: dizzying

 Sound mixing: wow. Just…wow.

 Sound editing: this film reminded me of the differences between sound mixing and editing because both were unremarkable

 Screenplay: feels like it was written in the last 90s, or early 2000s

 Acting: they did what they could with the screenplay they had

 Score: haphazardly applied standard thriller themes

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And I’m sorry, but why is Wale in this film?! I guess he said, “I’m getting these IMDb creds after my Wakandan cameo.” I ain’t mad at you, playa—get yo’ bread.

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In conclusion, “Ambulance” is a popcorn flick, but I’d advise against the popcorn purchase.

I’d also advise against the ticket purchase.

Just stay home—it’ll hit the streaming services soon.

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I mean, Yayha‘s fine ass is in it, so do with that information what you will…

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Just re-watch the trailer—the film offered no surprises. A run-of-the-mill, cheesy heist film.