⚠️ CAUTION: This film is a headache inducer. View at your own risk. ⚠️

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“Ambulance” is the thrill ride at your go-to amusement park that you frequented every summer as a kiddo, right. 🎢

The park that has that one ride that’s been there for, like, 50 years that just keeps passing inspection, right. 🎠

You know, the one that you and your parents, and possibly your grandparents, know causes massive headaches… 🎡

…the one that probably loses screws and bolts after every cycle, but folks still ride it. 🔩🔩

😖 The jittery one. 😖

The one you ride every time you’re in the park but it’s ol’ reliable and the wait time isn’t long. So, you think, “…eh, eff it. why not?”

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Well, if you’re familiar with Michael Bay’s specific brand of action films, then “Ambulance” is nestled right there—bottom of the pack, ol’ reliable—hits the notes it’s meant to. Nothing more.

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Hitting the elements:

💥 Direction: chaotic

💥 Cinematography: dizzying

💥 Sound mixing: wow. Just…wow. 😑😑

💥 Sound editing: this film reminded me of the differences between sound mixing and editing because both were unremarkable

💥 Screenplay: feels like it was written in the last 90s, or early 2000s

💥 Acting: they did what they could with the screenplay they had

💥 Score: haphazardly applied standard thriller themes

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And I’m sorry, but why is Wale in this film?! I guess he said, “I’m getting these IMDb creds after my Wakandan cameo.” I ain’t mad at you, playa—get yo’ bread. 👐🏾👐🏾

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In conclusion, “Ambulance” is a popcorn flick, but I’d advise against the popcorn purchase. 🙅🏾‍♀️🍿

I’d also advise against the ticket purchase. 🙅🏾‍♀️🎟️

Just stay home—it’ll hit the streaming services soon. 🙃🙃

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I mean, Yayha‘s fine ass is in it, so do with that information what you will…

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Just re-watch the trailer—the film offered no surprises. A run-of-the-mill, cheesy heist film.