So, remember those Olsen Twins movie adventures to Paris and New York and shit. Yea, so “Charlie’s Angels” (2019) would have definitely been on my list to over-watch to the point of needless memorization at summer camp during my adolescence.

Felt like it was written in the early to mid-2000s. So like, if “…Hobbs & Shaw” is a smooth D+, this is not far off on the 💩💩 end of the spectrum.

The plot was a little too drawn out, unoriginal, and just plain boring. Sad to say. I mean the film only reference’s Charlie once! The hell!

…while I didn’t much care for this, I gotta praise the hell outta Elizabeth Banks for writing, producing, directing, and starring in this. Brava, to you, E. Banks!! You’ve come a long way since “The 40-Year Old Virgin.” “Pitch Perfect” is a cult classic, so you know how this is done W E L L. I just wasn’t moved by this piece. Oh, and shout to Drew Barrymore for executive producing. Cute, sis—real, real cute.

The end credits montage was the best part of the film.

There wasn’t enough Noah Centineo in this. Either gimme mini-Mark Ruffalo frfr, or don’t! Don’t tease me! And while I’m on that vein, Chris Pang is 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥.

Ella Balinska and Djimon Hounsou breaking out the French was good. #welovetoseeit

Um, Mr. Hounsou is forever the best supporting cast member for these Action-Adventure-y, cash-grabby films. I ain’t mad at it, sir. Get thine coinage, legend.

I can TELL this took a lot to produce. My wish is that it was written with a more “modern” update. The only thing fresh about this remake was adding women of color as main characters, the costuming, and the screenplay was fem-centric. I also noticed the characters’ main focus wasn’t the attention of men, it was mainly to beat them—not mad at that decision.

My view: keep the original Charlie’s Angels pizazz, but sync the mission to something more palpable than just a gadget with the ability to destroy humankind with forced misdirections to confuse the mission. That is an overused trope in spy action films. I don’t mind watching an A-B-C, 1-2-3, plot-by-numbers film with a slight slap of something new and original. This one fell flat and left me wishing the time would hurry up and pass.

Oh, I love Ariana Grande, but not for almost every damn song on the soundtrack. Christ!