I’m gonna keep this succinct.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey you. Yea, you reading this. Sup, shawty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**rubs hands like Birdman***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look, you’ve seen this film before.

 

 

If you’ve seen the trailer, then you’ve already seen the film.

 

 

Use the 116 minutes I’m giving back to you for some good.

 

 

Unless you’re like a really big Hemsworth fan and you really want to see his “range,” then help thineself.

 

 

Otherwise. Go…go have fun staring at your toes or re-watching Big Mouth.

 

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Imma have to start Archer-izing these action films and counting bullets. I know those glock magazines are not holding unlimited rounds without extendo clips.

 

I’ve seen this action film too many times, y’all. It’s a formulaic, paint-by-numbers, White savior, rescue mission film we’ve all seen before, with the same fighting choreography and rhythm.

 

Ay yo, also, how come every rescue mission-y movie always has a shot of someone from behind looking out of binoculars? I mean I understand the point of the shot—perspective shots are important for narrative structure, but damn. The “person-looking-off-into-the-horizon-with-binoculars” shot is al dente.