It’s thrilling tricks seemed to tip towards hyperbole and less on creativity or genuine suspense. Examples of cheap “scare” points included:
🤡 a book falling off the shelf in an seemingly empty library;
🤡 the little girl defies her mother’s authority and follows a firefly to Pennywise, and is treated with genuine kindness by the clown…then, after a brief pause, is killed;
🤡 all the hallucinations feature inhumane zombie-like characterizations of creepy-crawlies or memorable people from the main characters’ pasts and they all look exactly the same! So after the second or third one is featured to the audience the figures become less frightening;
🤡 An evil clown is the main antagonist so of course we need a circus or carnival setting featured, and of course using a funhouse mirror to elude to claustrophobia is a totally original concept that we haven’t seen at all, at least not this year… **coughs** ”Us” **coughs**
🤡 the “someone’s behind you, but don’t look now” shit
🤡 someone almost drowning in something (blood, water, etc.), but making it out okay
🤡 a surprising death that happens in the last act.
I mean, I could continue but you get it—that almost every horror film trope was used in this 2+ hours long film.
The film was shot almost entirely in symmetry using either medium or close shots with little deviation in framing. Typically, an audience can sense suspense through technical aspects of cinematography, lighting (or lack there of), slightly obscure camera movements, a debilitating score, and a decent screenplay dialogue all working in unison. Unfortunately for this piece, a few of these elements were either missing, or present and did not work in the moments they needed to the most.
Yo, this was a great cast though! Not gonna lie, I’m impressed that a few of these actors actually signed up to do this. And honestly, it feels more like a genius marketing ploy, à la “The Lion King” (2019)—getting some heavy-hitters to drive turnout to a pre-October horror film. So, let’s see—we have a two-time Oscar nominee (Chastain), one-time BAFTA winner and international treasure (McAvoy), an Emmy Award winner and SNL legend (Hader), two relatively unknown actors (Ryan and Ransone), and the Old Spice guy (Mustafa). I’m not mad at it! But, if I’m being completely honest, I’d probably swap out Isaiah Mustafa and replace him with Bokeem Woodbine or someone with a little more range. This would’ve strengthen the serious moments in the screenplay that centered around Mustafa’s character’s.
And bruh, while we’re on it, why did the crack on the Black character have to be so racially weird, or was I the only one to notice? So, his parents died in a house fire and the headline in the paper was “Two crackheads die in a house fire…” GTFOHWATBS!!! Forreal, “crackheads”!?! And why my guy from the ward who was in the library preparing to kill Old Spice use the oldest racially-stereotypical fried chicken joke right before he himself was killed. I can’t! Effouttahere writers, I see you! Y’all aint slick.
At moments this film felt so unoriginal, unorganized, and long-winded. I was frustrated at how long it seemed to drag on with no real substance to justify the elapsed time. After the Stephan King cameo I wondered if this is what he imagined his words would inspire. But, he outchea cakin’ so he’ll be aight.
The conclusion of this film reeks of “too many hands in the pot.” While I’m sure it took months to shoot, stylistically it lost its way. There were so many elements that were impressive separately but didn’t save the film for me. Either the intention was for this film to read like three different mediocre films multiplied into one bad film, or they were taking a note from McAvoy’s character and didn’t really know how to end this chapter so they threw every theme they could (romance, comedy, drama, a twinge of gore) into a overly-salted gumbo and threw it against the cornucopia-themed wallpaper-plastered wall.
Due to the hyperbolic tone of the film, allow me to share a list-ical of things I’d rather do than watch this film again:
🎈 Watch the Dallas Cowboys, New York Giants, and Philadelphia Eagles best my team, the Washington Derogatories, twice by at least 50 points
🎈 Listen to Fran Drescher speak for seven hours straight, nonstop
🎈 Shave the calluses off someone else’s feet using a butter knife only
🎈 Drink Heineken
🎈Take a 15-hour flight with only babies as passengers and my Apple earrings (AirPods) at 1% with a broken USB port at my seat.
And even in all its unoriginal, one-note writing, disorganized storytelling, and lack of the Pennywise, it was fairly paced.
A tiny ode to James McAvoy:
No matter how shitty a project, this Scottish god gives his fucking A L L to his craft. He doesn’t care how bad a script is, or how amateur or accomplished his acting counterparts are, he commits and that’s why I really appreciate and respect his artistry.
One more thing: I forgot to praise for Bill Skarsgård as Pennywise partly because he was only in the film for like 25 of the 169 minutes. I was really looking forward to being creeped out by his performance, but in the end I couldn’t take Pennywise seriously. The decision to transform him into a giant spider and to kill him via spiritual bullying was such a strange tactic to combat evil. I mean, is this “Shazam!“? Weird. Actually, can we take a brief pause and give a slow clap to the Skarsgård acting dynasty. That family really churned out some talent, starting with the head Stellan Skarsgård.