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I’m just…exhausted.

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The dizzying camera movements were not enough to hide the sloppy fighting choreography.

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The editing was…yikes! 🥴🥴🥴

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The screenplay was dated and felt like a copy/paste of early-2000s era commercial spy films.

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Cool racially/ethnically diverse ensemble cast, but this effort seemed FORCED. Like it was a weekend project for everyone involved.

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Jessica Chastain looked so uncoordinated, bruh. And I was so confused because hasn’t she played a spy or been in action films before?! That chasing scene in Paris when she’s running and shooting was unintentionally hilarious. Secondhand embarrassment for my girl, Jess. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

There were so many action choreography holes that I open-mouthed chuckled at a few of the fight sequences.

 

“The 355” incorporated every spy action film trope, including a high-speed chase, a double cross (and then another double cross), befriending an “enemy,” unnecessary hostage taking, yada, yada, and so forth.

I checked-out before the third member of the team was recruited. I just could not take it.

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Lupita was the only one who fell naturally into her role, which wasn’t hard to fathom given her previous training for the role as multilinguist, expert spy and martial artist “Nakia” for “Black Panther” (2018).

But as cool and diverse as this cast was…

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This film was baby-town frolics of spy cinema. Whew, chile. Keep your coins and save them for a rainy day. 🙍🏾‍♀️

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In conclusion:

🙃 Hollywood, please stop force-feeding “diversity” and “inclusion” to make a point—this was not it, boo.

🙃 Go back to the drawing board.

🙃 Not that this would’ve mattered much, but maybe find a woman director. Perhaps? Maybe?

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